


It's a Lost Cause

by maeshii



Series: Dangan Angst [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna say goodbye, Platonic Cuddling, Very Minor, amami is sad, and hurt, and saihara is a good friend, for once, hes never gonna give you up, im so sorry, its not even a canon character, its very gay and very platonic, never gonna let you down, never gonna make you cry, never gonna tell a lie, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 10:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14932922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeshii/pseuds/maeshii
Summary: Rantaro Amami wasn't prone to showing weakness. He always put on a smile that affected others around him. But what happens when he doesn't?





	It's a Lost Cause

People called him an enigma. He was one, most of the time. That grin on his face almost never seemed to cease, only occasionally during the direst situations.

Walking into class without the usual smirk was an odd sight for most, especially those who know him well. Those who didn’t get the chance to get to know him wouldn’t think much of it. But those who did will know that there was something wrong.

“Amami?” A quiet voice, one that was familiar to him. Rantaro turned his head, of course, it was Shuichi who would choose to speak to him first.

“Hm?”

“Is there something wrong?”

“Ah, no. Nothing’s wrong.”

Shuichi’s frown cut deeper. “Please tell me the truth. Akamatsu and I are worried.”

“It is the truth. I don’t know what else you want.”

Shuichi shook his head. “I know it’s not the truth! Something is wrong, please tell me!”

Rantaro stood up, his chair scraping against the tiled floor. “I said I’m fine. Stop worrying about me. I can handle myself, I always have. This won’t be any different.” He exits the classroom.

Shuichi looked at Kaede before following Rantaro into the hall.

“Amami, please talk to me! I can’t stand seeing you like this!”

Rantaro turned his head around, glaring at Shuichi. “Then don’t look at me. Don’t be around me. Leave. Me. Alone.”

“I can’t do that. If I know you’re-”

“Oh, shut up, Saihara. You can’t always be this amazing person who makes their friends feel better by talking to them. Why can’t you just let people grieve alone? Let them have some time to themselves? Yeah, maybe just give it a try.”

Shuichi stood and watched and Rantaro walked off. “A-Amami..!”

“What did I just say? Just leave me alone!”

He disappeared down the hall, and Shuichi could only watch this time.

“Wow, Saihara. You really don’t know when to stop!” The shorter teen came up next to Shuichi from god knows where.

“Ouma, be quiet. Now really isn’t the time for your antics.”

“No, really Saihara! You have no clue when to stop! No lies this time!”

“You’re the one who doesn’t know when to stop.”

“Uh, even if that’s true, you don’t know when to leave people alone either. Seriously, did you not even hear what happened?”

“No...what happened?”

“I dunno! It’s not my job to look after people, y’know!” Ouma grinned. “But he did say something about grieving!”

“He did?”

“Wow, Saihara! Are you fucking dumb?”

“Who could’ve died?”

“A friend? Pet? Family member? I don’t know, I’m not his mommy!”

“I should go a-”

“Are you STUPID, Saihara? He just said to leave him alone! He may as well be telling you to fuck off!”

“Ouma, I...he needs someone, even if he doesn’t realize it!”

“Does he need someone Saihara?” Kokichi began. “Or do you just want to see him?”

“...”

“Consider that.”

Kokichi walked off, leaving Shuichi by himself. He chose to walk back to class. Maybe Rantaro will open up later.

***

The day went by painfully slow. It did for Shuichi, at least. Rantaro didn’t come to any classes. When classes finally ended, he ran to Rantaro’s dorm and knocked on the door.

He gets no response. He goes to knock again until he hears the doorknob twist. Rantaro is now in front of him, looking messier than usual.

“Saihara, I thought I told you to-”

“Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“No.”

“Please! How do you know talking about it won’t make you feel better if you haven’t tried?”

“Because this isn’t something I want to talk about. Go away, Saihara.”

“Amami—!”

“I said go away! Just leave me alone! I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want to be with people right now! I’m a mess right now, Saihara! I don’t want people to see me at  
my worst!”

Rantaro didn’t sound angry anymore. He sounded desperate—almost like he didn’t want Shuichi to go away.

“I’ve already seen you at your worst,” Shuichi says calmly. “You’ve already shown me. Whatever I see now, whatever you tell me...it isn’t going to be anything I haven’t seen before. It’s okay to cry in front of me, Amami. It’s okay to show weakness in front of me.” He puts a hand on his shoulder, and Rantaro doesn’t try to fight it. “I don’t expect you to be perfect. Neither does Akamatsu, Momota, Kiibo, Ouma, or Harukawa. None of us think poorly of you and this won’t make us think that. So please, tell me.”

Rantaro didn’t say anything in response. He averted eye contact and his posture stiffened. “Come in, I guess. I’ll tell you.”

The answer caught Shuichi a little off guard, but he was glad Rantaro accepted his comfort. He entered and Rantaro made a gesture, telling Shuichi to follow him. They both sat down on Rantaro’s bed, and for a few moments of bliss, neither of them said anything.

“I meant what I said. I don’t expect you to go through things on your own. Needing help is human.”

Rantaro nodded and took in a shaky breath before beginning. “I should start by saying that I was always expected to be the strong older sibling who never had any problems, ‘cause I’m meant to be the one who listens to ‘em.” Another deep breath. “So yeah. I’m not really used to this. Anyway, last week I found out that my soon-to-be sister died. She barely lasted a day after being born, died right after the 24-hour mark. Everyone was so excited for her. I don’t know how they reacted to her death and me don’t wanna know.”

He stopped, and Shuichi waited a couple seconds to see if he would continue. “Have you done anything to try and cope?”

Rantaro shook his head. “Nah. As I said, I’ve always been expected to deal with things myself. I dunno any ‘self-care’ coping mechanisms or whatever.”

Shuichi (very suddenly) pulled Rantaro into a hug. He wrapped one and around his torso and gently placed the other on the back of his head. “It’s okay, Amami. It’s okay to be upset. You’re allowed to around me. I’m not gonna be angry.”

Shuichi could feel Rantaro accept the hug, slowly hugging him back. “You won’t?”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Rantaro exhaled a shaky breath and tears began to soak Shuichi’s clothes. He gently rubbed Rantaro’s back and whispered soothing words into his ear.

“I—*hic*—I’m sorry, Saihara..”

“You have no need to apologize. You didn’t cause this, you aren’t at fault here. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay.”

Rantaro clutched Shuichi’s shirt as he sobbed. Shuichi had never seen Rantaro cry before, and he never knew just how bad it could get. He held Rantaro tightly and slowly began to rock back and forth, letting Rantaro let out everything he’s kept bottled up. He felt a pang of sadness every time Rantaro let out a sob or wail, but he kept holding onto him, and he kept whispering calming words into his ear.

After what felt like forever, Rantaro stopped sobbing. Shuichi’s shirt was soaked and stained with tears, but that was the least of his concerns. “Are you feeling better now?” He asked, despite the fact he expected the answer to be no.

“A little, I suppose. Thanks, Saihara,” he whispered, his voice hoarse from crying.

“It’s no problem. Anything else you need or want to talk about?”

Rantaro shrugged. “Can you just...stay for a bit?” His cheeks burned a little, it obviously wasn’t easy to ask.

Shuichi nodded, a comforting and warm smile on his face. “Of course. I know you probably don’t want to be alone right now.”

Rantaro brought his knees to his chest and rested his arms on them. Shuichi wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer. “I know it’s tough. I can’t say I’ve ever experienced that before, but I can imagine how it’s affecting you. It’s okay, though. It’s going to be okay.”

Rantaro nods, nuzzling his head into Shuichi’s side. He felt comfortable around Shuichi.

“Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?” Rantaro said. “I don’t want them to know.”

“Your secret’s safe with me, Rantaro,” Shuichi said. “I won’t tell anyone. But I’m glad you told me what was on your mind.”

“I’m glad you let me tell you.”

“Always feel free to talk to me, okay? Even if it’s just over the phone, I want to do what I can to make you feel better when you’re sad. You’re my friend, after all. Friends care for each other. You seem like you especially could use someone to talk to, taking the life you used to have into consideration.”

“My life wasn’t that hard.”

“It sounds hard. Being expected to suck up all your problems sounds awful.”

“Really, it wasn’t that hard.”

Shuichi frowned. “Amami, there’s no need for you to lie to me anymore. It’s okay to admit that you feel frustrated or upset at home. I’m not going to think of you as selfish or needy, because it’s wrong of people to expect you to handle things on your own. Part of being strong is admitting you need help when you do because that proves you aren’t scared of what other people will think of you. So stay strong, okay?”

“Okay.” Rantaro let the barest hint of a smile grace his features. “Thank you, Saihara. Thank you so much.”

Shuichi smiled back, still rubbing Rantaro’s back gently.

“It’s no problem, Amami.”


End file.
